


surfeit.

by MalevolentReverie



Series: superfluity. [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Has Red Flags, Blood, Breastfeeding, But A/B/O is briefly mentioned, Codependency, Complete, Dark, Divorce, Emotional Manipulation, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Gaslighting, Grooming, Han is 42, Incest, Infanticide, Leia/Luke are 32, Loss of Innocence, Luke Was A Teen Dad, Morning After Pill, Older Man/Younger Woman, One Shot, Prequel to Satiate., Rey and Han are Betas, Rey is 16, Reylo Sr., Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Teen Pregnancy, Traumatic childbirth, Uncle/Niece Incest, Underage Drinking, Unplanned Pregnancy, Well She Considers Infanticide, it gets weird, premature baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 13:02:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: Uncle Han is Rey's favorite: he's funny, works on cool cars, and knows how to throw her in the pool. He doesn't treat her like a baby like dad does, and sometimes he lets her drink.





	surfeit.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saltmouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltmouse/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [переедание.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117403) by [Tersie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tersie/pseuds/Tersie)

> this was DEMANDED of me!!!! DEMANDED!!! and it spiraled into 11,000 words
> 
> geekmystic came up with the incredible tag of “reylo sr.” and it tickled me
> 
> note that there is a really traumatic birth at the end--that's a huge trigger for some people so!!! please beware!!! this is for ana, my incest muse

“You have everything, honey? Pajamas? Toothbrush? Tampons?”

Oh god. What the hell.

“_Dad_!” Rey snaps. She shudders and scrambles out of the car, because she can’t get away fast enough. “Don’t ask me stuff like that!”

Dad follows and apologizes but he’s never going to stop being so weird and uptight. They’re outside Aunt Leia and Uncle Han’s big house and her dad, Leia’s brother, is dropping her off for the weekend. She comes all the time. It’s not like she’s going away to summer camp.

Dad runs a hand through his graying hair. “I just want to make sure is all. Leia won’t be here and Han is an ass, so…”

“Uncle Han is cool.” Rey lugs her suitcase out of the trunk of dad’s Corolla. “He’s got a new car he’s restoring, and he’s taking me to Talladega.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

Ugh. Rey rolls her eyes and shoulders her other bag. She’s going to work for NASCAR, even if dad doesn’t want her to. Aunt Leia helped her get an internship for next summer when she’s in senior year, learning how the pit crew works and stuff. Sometimes big racers come say hi.

She heads down the path to the side door that goes into the garage. Dad follows.

Music plays in the garage that blasts so loud Rey can barely hear. She sets her stuff aside and peers around the corner, where Uncle Han is under his new Mustang tinkering with the suspension. Dad huffs and heads into the house with her stuff.

Rey shouts his name. “Uncle Han! _Uncle Han_!”

Nothing. She rolls her eyes and kicks his thigh with a sneaker.

He rolls right out with a furious look but smiles when he sees her. He’s covered in grease, all across his sleeveless white shirt and down his jeans. His skin’s all sweaty and tan and his long hair is swept to the side. Aunt Leia says he’s charming but Rey thinks he’s just like the jocky kids at school.

Han sits up and turns off the music with a remote. He brushes back his hair and raises his eyebrows.

“_Who _are you?” he asks, tilting his head. “I don’t think I know you.”

Rey rolls her eyes and grabs the other rolling board so she can look under the car, too. He laughs and flops back to follow her.

It’s dark and humid. Dad told her to wear a dress so she’d look nice for lunch with Aunt Leia and it’s not going to survive the trip under the Mustang.

She points. “Oh—did you do the timing belt?”

“Nah, not yet. I need an extra pair of hands and a couple hours so I was hoping you might help. If you’re not too busy this weekend.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” Rey clicks her tongue, arching to look all over the underbelly of the car. “It looks really good. What’s up with the transmission?”

Han heaves a sigh. He’s got black grease on his cheek and Rey reaches over to wipe it off with her palm, which just makes it worse. He gasps and wipes a hand on her stomach, right across the pink dress, and they both pretend to gasp in horror.

“Not the _dress_!” she laments. “Not the new _dress_!”

“It’s a fucking disaster is what it is!” Han shakes his head and brushes his rough palm down her cheek, grinning. “Look at that. Now no one’s going to notice the dress.”

Rey laughs and it starts a contest to smear the other person with the most grease. She squeals and rolls out when he gets her forehead, then he follows and pounces on her. Han wraps her in a tight hug and spins her around a couple times while she shrieks and laughs breathlessly.

The door opens. Aunt Leia comes out in a pantsuit and pretends to sigh, but she’s smiling. Dad glares at them over her shoulder.

“Guess that lunch isn’t happening,” she says. She glances back at dad. “Luke—let’s go. It’s been a while and Han can deal with cleaning up his niece and feeding her.” She motions around the garage with her pointer finger. “And the rest of the mess.”

Han gives her a salute. “Aye-aye, captain.”

Leia shuffles over to kiss him and he finally sets Rey down. She shrugs at dad’s irritated look. He should know by now that she’s never clean.

They head out in Aunt Leia’s Mercedes, leaving Rey in the rare position of being alone with Uncle Han. Usually someone is around, and Leia’s leaving on a business trip straight from the lunch.

Han ruffles her hair. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”

• • •

Rey scrubs off the grease and trashes the dress because it’s frankly not worth saving. She sets up her clothes in the guest room and changes into an old Harley shirt from Uncle Han and a pair of her own volleyball shorts. It looks like she’s not wearing pants and dad would _hate _it.

She skips downstairs and finds Han sitting on the couch drinking a beer. It’s nice out. She’d rather go swim because he can throw her around the pool and get her up on his shoulders for chicken. He’s stronger than dad, so Aunt Leia always wins.

Rey flops on the couch. “Gimme a sip.”

Han snorts and shakes his head. “Hell no. Come back when you’re eighteen at least.” He does a double take at her outfit and widens his eyes, head shaking. “Jesus. Please tell me you’re wearing pants.”

She scowls and flips up her shirt past her belly. He pauses, then suddenly digs his big hand in and tickles her. He braces his elbow on her chest so she can’t get away and she squeals and thrashes. He’s _strong_.

Rey fights him off and skips out to the kitchen. She opens the fridge and helps herself to a wine cooler, like she usually does, and goes back to watch TV.

Uncle Han puts an arm over the back of the couch. “Fine, you can have one.”

“Thanks a bunch.”

They watch _Cops _for a couple hours. Rey throws her legs in his lap, demanding a foot rub without asking, and he just sighs and does it. She’ll just stick her feet in his face if he says no.

She lays flat back. “I wanna go swimming.”

“Go ahead.”

“You have to come. I might drown.”

“Good, saves me the trouble of doing it myself.”

Rey lifts up a leg and smooshes her foot against the side of his face. Han ignores it for a bit. He’s in another sleeveless shirt because it’s hot as heck outside and Leia wants him to mow the lawn. Still wearing jeans. It must be uncomfortable.

He slaps her leg away. “Fine, you little shit. Go change.”

She squeals and darts back upstairs to put on her new suit. Two piece. Dad finally caved and let her buy one so now she won’t look like a loser at the public pool.

Uncle Han must come upstairs because she hears his heavy footsteps in the hallway. Rey hurries to tie the back but can’t get it, so she runs down to his bedroom and knocks on the door with her foot.

“Can you tie this?” she calls.

“Yeah, when I have my fucking pants on!”

“Don’t fucking swear, Uncle Han!”

He laughs and she smiles, turning it a little circle while she waits. He’s the best. He takes her to all the races and lets her help fix the cars, and she can be as dirty as she wants around him. He should’ve been her dad. Aunt Leia would’ve been a nice mom, too.

Han comes out without a shirt, wearing blue swim trunks tied in the front. He makes a turning motion and Rey spins around so he can tie her top.

He tugs. “What happened to one pieces?”

“I’m sixteen; I don’t want to look like a little kid.” She draws her hair up so it won’t get caught. “Aunt Leia wears a two piece.”

“Yeah, well, she’s in her thirties.”

“I know. You’re the old one.”

Han ties it off and gives her a hard slap on the butt. Rey jumps forward, scowling, but he smirks and ruffles her hair as he walks past. His shoulders are broad and the muscles in his back tighten as he rolls them forward and back.

“I’m a spry forty-two,” he calls.

“Well Aunt Leia is thirty two!” Rey hurries after him, determined to convince him he’s old. “You guys met when dad accidentally fell into my mom dick-first. She was one of your old lady friends.”

He opens the sliding glass door to the deck, pausing because he’s laughing so hard. What? Rey knows she was a total accident. Dad had her when he was seventeen so now he’s worried the same thing will happen to her.

She’s not an idiot. She stays away from boys. Her career with NASCAR is what really matters.

Uncle Han looks at her over his shoulder, still laughing a little. She crosses her arms and raises her brows.

“You have your aunt’s stubborn ass attitude, you know that?” He shakes his head and looks back at the pool. “Big pain in my ass.”

Rey’s face screws up angrily. She runs across the deck and leaps on Han’s back, throwing her arms around his neck—and he yells and topples into the pool.

It’s a shock of cold water but totally worth it. She lets go and tries swimming off but he grabs her upper arm and drags her right back to him.

They surface, Rey laughing and twisting to get away. Han can touch the bottom, and he twirls her around until he can wrap his arms around her stomach. He holds her tight and slowly sinks down until her chin is barely above the water. She squeals and struggles.

He keeps going. “Now I can drown you like I’ve always wanted to.”

“You couldn’t hide the body!”

“Shh, shh…” He swims deeper so her mouth is underwater. “No more words. Go to sleep.”

Rey kicks her feet, floating there with him in the late afternoon sun, helpless in his arms. Her heart beats in her ears as she closes her eyes, suddenly aware of his hard chest against her back and his warm breath on her ear. Heat creeps into her cheeks.

Han laughs and twirls her around so she can clamber onto him from the front. She bites his shoulder as he helps her wrap her legs around his hips and he growls and calls her a little shit again. They haven’t been in the pool since last summer. It feels different.

“You’re a jerk!” she snaps. “I’m telling Aunt Leia!”

“Snitches get stitches, babe.” He wraps an arm around her waist to bring her up higher. “God you’ve gotten heavy. Used to be easier to torture you when you weighed forty pounds.”

“Yeah?! Well you’re old!”

His laugh carries around the empty yard. The sun is setting, dyeing the blue sky in deep pink and purple. Uncle Han keeps swimming around.

He leans his cheek against the side of Rey’s head. She smiles and nuzzles into his neck.

“You’re getting so big,” he mumbles. “Soon you’ll go to school and get married, have some kids.”

“I don’t want kids. I won’t have time, y’know?”

“Yeah, me neither. I’ve got you, anyway—you’re a big enough brat to keep me busy.”

Rey huffs. “I’m not a brat.”

She gradually notices his fingers toying with the knot keeping her top on. It seems absentminded but makes her stomach flip, and she squirms, pressing her groin against his hard stomach. Uncle Han might be old but he’s not fat by any means.

His neck smells like chlorine and garage. Rey swallows and stops moving when she feels a weird sensation between her legs. It’s happened before but she learned in church that she’s supposed to ignore it. It’s just an accident from how she’s clinging to him.

Han moves toward the shallow end. “You are, but you’re _my _brat.”

The weird tension fades when he lets her go near the steps. He swims back to the deep end to check the filter and pulls himself out on the edge, just with one hard push of his arms. Water runs down his back over the muscles and Rey stares. He doesn’t need to use his feet like she does.

He slicks his hair back and looks at her. She blinks and tips back, then clambers out of the pool.

Uncle Han gives her a towel after he dries off her hair with it. He smirks when she blushes. His eyes trail down her front while she wipes off the water.

“Go wash off,” he says, gaze wandering to the house. He dries his hair with a couple rough swipes and it’s a mess when he’s done. “We can watch a scary movie if you wanna. _Rosemary’s Baby_?”

“Yes!” Rey claps and drapes her towel around her shoulders. “Dad won’t let me and I’ve been dying to see it!”

“Alright—go shower and I’ll get snacks and shit.” He gives her another glance and raises his eyebrows. “Put on some real pants this time.”

She rolls her eyes. Whatever.

Rey hurries to scrub out the chlorine but it still leaves her hair stiff and tacky. She changes into her volleyball shorts again, just to annoy Uncle Han, and puts on a yellow tank top that’s also going to annoy him. She wears a bra, though. That’d be weird.

She finds him in the kitchen putting pizza rolls on a plate with mozzarella sticks. He has another beer and pushes a wine cooler toward her with the tip of his finger. Sweet.

“You can have _one_,” he says, holding up his index finger. He still doesn’t have a shirt on but he’s wearing basketball shorts. It’s not uncommon for him to go shirtless. “Seriously. One.”

Rey sighs and hops away. “Fine, whatever. Thanks Uncle Han.”

The movie is already set up in the VCR. Rey wriggles excitedly as she sits with her wine cooler in both hands and props her bare feet up on the coffee table. She _loves _scary movies. Dad always tells her no because he’s worried she’ll have nightmares.

Han comes out with the snacks and she digs in. He sits and drinks his beer, then sighs and gets up for another one. Rey doesn’t care; she’s too busy eating.

When he comes back, he has some kind of dark liquor in a short glass. Aunt Leia has a whole cabinet with glass bottles but they only drink it on special occasions. Maybe he’s celebrating them spending the weekend together.

He grunts. “Guess you couldn’t find pants, huh?”

Rey hops up to hit play. She turns and he’s staring at her, drinking slowly from his glass.

Her heart patters.

“I’m wearing shorts,” she snips. She tugs the elastic at her thigh. “See? They’re for volleyball.”

Uncle Han raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything. She goes back to her spot and picks up her cold wine cooler, something from Smirnoff.

He fans a blanket across them. The house gets chilly from the central A/C and Rey’s hair is still damp from the pool. She shivers and scoots to Han’s side, burrowing under his arm so she can steal some body heat. He opens up, draping his arm over her shoulders, heavy and hot.

The movie starts. Uncle Han runs his fingertips up and down her arm, watching silently. Rey gasps at the scary parts and takes longer sips of her drink.

“Want to try?”

She glances up. He’s offering her the glass, now almost empty. It’s a rare opportunity so Rey hands him her wine cooler and takes it, taking a big swing by accident that tastes absolutely _awful_. She tries spitting it out but Uncle Han covers her mouth, smiling.

“Swallow it. _Swallow it_.”

God, it’s so gross! Rey whines and winces as she swallows and it burns down her throat. He laughs and gives her back the wine cooler.

“That’s disgusting!” she complains.

“Yeah, that’s bourbon. You’ll like it when you’re old like me.”

“Blech. I don’t think so.”

He drinks the rest and looks over his shoulder. “Well, we have other shit. Want to pick your poison?”

Uh… yeah? Rey nods eagerly and follows him out to the dining room where Aunt Leia has all the alcohol put away.

It’s so cool—so weird. Uncle Han opens it and she wanders closer to look at all the different bottles. She doesn’t know what any of them are. Dad doesn’t drink at all and she’s only had wine coolers sometimes when Aunt Leia isn’t home.

Han clicks his tongue and picks up a black bottle. “You’ll probably like rum and coke. Maybe vodka and orange juice but that’s a lot of acid.”

“Coke has acid too, Uncle Han.”

He closes the cabinet and pokes her nose.

“See? Pain in the ass.”

They walk out to the kitchen. Rey sits on a stool to watch him mix the dark rum with Coke and she beams when he passes the glass to her. He pours the alcohol into his own glass without the soda.

She takes a deep breath and sips. It burns, but not like the bourbon, and the Coke helps take off some of the edge. It’s not bad, honestly. She could drink a lot of it.

He smiles and her heart flutters. He’s not old and ugly. He’s funny, and has ‘easy good looks.’ Aunt Leia says that when she calls him charming.

“Not bad, right?”

“No, it’s good.” Rey takes another sip, feeling very much like an adult. “You don’t mix it?”

“I’m old. I don’t need to.”

Gross. Rey’s glad she isn’t old.

They go back to the couch and sit together again under the blanket. Rey cups her new drink and sips faster than before. It makes her kind of dizzy but relaxed, and drowsy. It’s not much but she’s not used to the sensation of being buzzed.

The movie rolls on. Han goes back to stroking her arm and shushes her whenever she jumps. Soon he’s drained his glass and Rey does her best to finish hers right after him. Her head spins.

Han sways when he gets up, eyes glassy. “Want to try a shot?”

She frowns and tries getting up but almost falls. Uncle Han catches her and they both laugh.

The kitchen is dark. He opens a cabinet and takes out two really small glasses, then pours rum into each one. He pushes it to Rey with the other glass half full of Coke. She should know what to do.

“Drink the shot in one go,” he says. He puts his back and grits his teeth. “The Coke is a chaser so it doesn’t taste so bad.”

“Ugh. It sounds terrible.”

“It is.”

She sighs and braces herself before she does it. Her mouth immediately burns and her stomach turns but she gets it down and follows with Coke. Han laughs and gives her a high-five while she coughs and laughs, too. Holy shit, she did it.

He does it again and again. He licks his lips and watches her do it again.

Rey blinks hard, stumbling out of her chair. The kitchen spins so bad she has to grab Uncle Han’s forearms to keep from falling over. He holds on tight and she keeps blinking, warm from head to toe. It feels nice. Relaxing.

“You okay?” he asks. He leads her back to the living room, smiling. “Don’t throw up on me.”

“I’m fine.” She stumbles and drops on the couch, shrieking with laughter, arms around her stomach. “It’s funny because I’m _not _fine!”

Uncle Han sits and sips his drink. He slaps her thigh and motions to the TV.

“Go change the channel,” he says. “See how far you can walk without falling on your ass.”

Rey isn’t one to back down from a challenge. She peels herself from the couch and staggers around the coffee table to the TV, pawing around for the side so she can change the channel. Uncle Han is watching her. She can feel his eyes.

She clicks around. “What channel?”

“What?”

“What channel?”

“Oh, sorry—I have the remote right here.”

Jerk. Rey turns to glare at him and sees him staring at her with a weird look on his face. He finishes his drink and leans forward to set the glass on the coffee table. It’s quiet for a long, weird minute.

Han licks his lips. “Can you make it over to me?”

“Duh.” She rolls her eyes and takes a hard step, swaying. “Eventually.”

“How about I give you ten seconds? If you don’t, I’ll throw you in the pool.”

Oh shit. Rey squeaks and drops to her hands and knees instead so she can scramble over to her fast enough. Han watches with a small smile as she grabs his knees and breathlessly pulls herself up. Got it. Good. The water is gonna be freezing.

He brushes her hair back from her face. “Look how pretty you are. Any boys?”

Rey reddens and shakes her head. “Ew, no. I have other things to worry about.”

“Good.” His gaze wanders down her chest. “Want to lay down? You’re dizzy.”

She nods and climbs over his lap so she can lay down on the big couch. Uncle Han moves behind her, pulling up the blanket with them, and she has to settle with her butt in his groin. He grabs her waist in a big hand to pull her closer.

Rey yawns. He changes the channel the OnDemand stuff and she barely pays attention.

He settles on something with a teacher and a kid. It looks like a bad movie and she frowns, sort of hoping they could watch another scary one. She can watch these goofy movies—

The teacher starts kissing the girl. It’s not in a super PG-13 way and Rey feels her stomach flip.

Uncle Han drapes his hand over her waist, fingers stroking her bare belly. The movie quickly deteriorates into stuff Rey’s never seen and doesn’t want to see: he pushes up the girl’s skirt and strokes his _penis _and then has sex with her. She gets on her knees and he kind of violently sticks his penis in her mouth, groaning, calling her names.

Rey is too terrified to move. They’re watching porn and she doesn’t know why and doesn’t like the way it’s making her feel. She’s never seen sex even in movies or a real penis in real life. She stays perfectly still while Uncle Han shifts around behind her, scared shitless and confused.

He runs his finger along the hem of her shorts. “You gonna help me tomorrow?”

She nods once but doesn’t speak.

Moaning fills the dark living room. Han breathes in her ear as he gently worms his fingers under her shorts, and Rey pushes her thighs together. Her heart pounds. She feels nauseous.

“Shh…” he whispers. He kisses her temple and pushes his hand deeper, stretching her tight shorts. Rey squirms back into his lap and feels hot hardness and he takes a sharp breath. “You’re okay.”

She’s not. Uncle Han rubs between her thighs and the _porn _movie plays and Rey is sick and confused. He’s gentle and slow and it feels good but it’s wrong.

She shudders. “I want to go to bed.”

Han keeps going, slowly rolling two fingertips around the good spot. The hard thing rubs against Rey’s butt and he breathes in soft, uncomfortable groans. She just wants to go to bed. He’s confused because he’s drunk and so is she.

His fingers slide under the hem of her panties, rough skin stroking her soft lips, and she whimpers. Her hips jerk a little into his touch and he rubs and whispers and keeps rhythmically pushing against her butt. Rey watches the movie through hooded eyes; she thinks she likes the teacher doing it from behind.

Uncle Han kisses her neck. “These shorts are so tight, aren’t they? We should get them off.”

They do feel really tight. Rey swallows while he peels them off, down to her knees, then she feels warm skin touching hers from behind.

Realization and fear burn up the nape of her neck. His pants aren’t on anymore, either.

“I—I should go to bed,” she repeats. Her breathing picks up as he adjusts behind her. “I’m tired. I should… I should go to bed.”

He guides her thigh back over his hip and she feels exposed even under the blanket. His fingers play between her legs again for a minute, bringing her back to rubbing against them, then he reaches lower. Her ears ring and the movie fades away.

It prods her. It’s hot and hard. It prods and Rey hyperventilates as prodding turns to pushing.

Uncle Han grunts. “_Shit_, Rey. Shit.”

The pushing hurts. She cries out and he covers her mouth with a rough palm, whispering for her to relax. Rey squeezes her eyes shut and tries but it hurts and she’s nauseous and she doesn’t want to do this. He’s ripping her open from the inside out.

He keeps her mouth covered as he pumps his hips faster, slowly opening up the tight muscles. She’s only ever had tampons up there and this is way bigger and Uncle Han is panting and inside her body. He grunts like the man in the movie, huffing and cursing, then his hand wanders down her neck.

It feels greedy. He cups her breasts and shoves a hand up her shirt just to feel them for a minute before he’s rubbing her between the legs again. It feels nice but it doesn’t do anything to help the pain.

“Fuck—you’re so goddamn tight.” Han strokes in faster circles and makes a guttural groan. “Oh fuck—I’m gonna come—”

Rey winces as he jerks violently inside her, gasping. He keeps swearing the entire time, grabbing her hip to lift her thigh so she can get deeper. It’s like being stabbed, she thinks. He’s stabbing her and her blood comes out as milky white semen.

It’s over a couple seconds later. Uncle Han catches his breath and Rey shudders, scared shitless.

He laughs and kisses her cheek. “Sorry. I don’t usually come that fast.” His kisses wander to her ear, voice lowering to a whisper that makes her skin crawl. “You’re my second virgin.”

She has no idea what to say to that. She just had sex with Uncle Han. She’s not a virgin anymore.

His thick arms wrap around her, penis slipping from her body with a trickle of semen. Rey stares at the movie as it rolls into another, this time with a man slapping the woman before he has sex with her. She closes her eyes but still sees it on her eyelids.

Uncle Han falls asleep behind her. She tries, closing her eyes again, but sees the images and hears the woman whimpering. She stays perfectly still. She doesn’t want to wake him up.

• • •

It’s quiet when she wakes up alone on the couch.

The blanket is draped over her but Uncle Han is gone and the movie is off. Rey shivers and can’t deny the stickiness on her thighs, even if she wants to.

She slowly sits up, fixing her shorts dangling around her ankles. It hurts. It feels like he really did stab her.

The short walk to the bathroom is hard. Rey cries a little along the way and sobs when she’s inside, trembling hands touching the blood and semen on her inner thighs. She wipes off what she can, but she isn’t on birth control, and she’s terrified.

She limps back to the couch and hears the garage door open. Her stomach turns.

It’s him, dressed, greasy and already working, as if last night didn’t happen; as if it doesn’t matter to him. She stares at him and he laughs. His soft brown eyes are glassy like last night and he’s standing lopsided.

“Tired?” he teases.

Rey freezes when he comes toward her. Uncle Han kisses the top of her head, pausing there, then he dips lower. He catches her lips with his and it’s the first time she’s kissed _anyone_, and his mouth tastes like rum and gum and cigarettes. She kisses him back for a minute before breaking off, shrinking away, but he grabs her jaw and follows.

He kisses her harder. Rey grabs the front of his shirt, bending over the arm of the couch as he presses closer. He smells like the musty garage and staggers a little. Maybe he’s still drunk, or still drinking.

Uncle Han roughly turns her around. He gives a hard push to bend her over the arm of the couch at her hips and tugs off the shorts Rey put back on. His pants unzip and his belt makes a clinking noise, then both hands are on her waist. One catches his weight on the back of the couch and he smells her hair.

Her stomach clenches at the familiar prodding between her legs. She winces as he huffs and gives a rough thrust that takes a couple inches, then he’s pounding into her, hips flush to her butt. The belt buckle pinches the back of her thigh.

Uncle Han groans. He fans a big hand on her belly and sweeps back to hold her hip where it’s digging into the hard arm of the couch. Rey shudders.

“Gotta pull out,” he pants, more to himself than her. He kisses her shoulder and grunts, fucking her in earnest. “_Shit_. _Shit_, that feels good.”

It’s broad daylight. She’s terrified dad or Aunt Leia will walk in the front door and see her complicit in this; not saying a word and letting Uncle Han have sex with her. Her lower lip trembles and she buries her face in the cushion while his skin slaps rhythmically against hers and he takes staggered breaths.

He pushes her hip down and she rubs on the rough arm of the couch. Rey whimpers. It feels kind of good like last night when he was touching her.

“You like that, huh?” Uncle Han rolls his hips to make her keep rubbing in that spot. He drags his nails down to her butt and squeezes and slaps. “Yeah, you do. All slutty little girls like that.”

“I… I’m not.” She breaks her silence, croaking, unnerved by his words. “I’m not, Uncle—Uncle Han.”

“Yeah you are—you’re a hungry little slut: tight shorts, tiny bathing suit, pretty pink dress. Letting your Uncle Han fuck you right in the living room.” He drapes over her back and Rey feels him twitching inside her. “You’re a hungry fucking slut and I’m going to fill you up with what you want.”

Why would he say that? She hides her face again and cries while he paws at her body with his huge hands, then he’s coming, not pulling out. He jerks deeper until Rey can’t feel where he begins and she ends. Something warm spills inside her.

Uncle Han groans, hips still twitching. “Oh, honey… _shit_.”

His body slows. He kisses her shoulder and stands, penis slipping from her body and letting out the semen. It runs down her thighs again.

“You wanna shower and meet me in the garage?” Uncle Han asks. He slaps her ass again, squeezing a cheek in one big rough hand. “We’ve gotta fix that timing belt today, remember?”

Rey nods, holding back tears, trying to push herself up. Han fixes his pants behind her, huffs another satisfied sigh, then gives her a kiss on the temple and goes back out to the garage. The harsh music blares through for a minute before the door shuts.

It hurts more now. Rey makes her way upstairs and washes off the blood and semen, shellshocked into silence. She’s a slut now. Dad and Aunt Leia are going to be so mad at her when Uncle Han tells them.

She dresses in long sweatpants and another baggy black shirt, terrified he’s going to bend her over again if she wears tight stuff. Her knees knock as she goes downstairs and unwillingly out to the garage.

Uncle Han is under the Mustang. Rey shivers as she pads closer in her bare feet, but she doesn’t kick him to get his attention. There’s a can of beer to his right and a couple crushed cans scattered around the floor. His music blares and hurts Rey’s ears.

Her voice is hoarse. “Uncle… Uncle Han? Uncle Han?”

He rolls out, eyebrows raised imploringly. He turns off the music.

“What’s up, babe?” he asks.

Rey stares at him. Her eyes travel down his stomach to his crotch and her heart skips a beat. What if she asks a question and he does it again?

Her eyes water. “Please don’t tell m-my dad. I don’t want him to know… t-to know I’m a…”

Uncle Han frowns and clicks his tongue. He opens his arms and Rey sobs and lets him drag her into a hug. She cries into his white shirt covered in grease and he shushes her and rubs her back. She wraps her legs around his hips to keep upright.

“I won’t tell anyone,” he murmurs. He nuzzles her ear. “I’ll even help you.”

“I’m sorry—I’m sorry!”

He shushes her, leaning back against the car and rubbing her back. Rey cries and cries and wonders where she went wrong.

• • •

“That’s good. Just like that.”

They’re lying in her bed under the covers. Uncle Han is next to her, a hand on hers while she rubs slowly between her legs. Rey shivers and rolls her hips, thighs spread, heat creeping up her neck.

Night has fallen. It’s Saturday going into Sunday, one more day before Aunt Leia is home Monday. Rey hopes she isn’t a slut anymore when dad picks her up.

Uncle Han has two fingers stuffed inside her. He’s gently moving them and stroking somewhere on her front wall, and Rey is rubbing the little nub he showed her. It feels good. Her lower belly is getting tight, breaths quicker, and she bucks against his fingers. She’s going to come like he does.

Her lips part. “I’m going to—I feel it. I feel it.”

“Yeah?” he whispers. He tickles inside her and Rey whines, squirming. “Shh, shh… good girls stay quiet when they come. If you’re loud then Uncle Han will have to punish you.”

She can’t help it. She whimpers and writhes as the tension snaps and runs through her body, long rhythmic contractions around his fingers, pleasure from where she’s rubbing her clit. It feels so good that she cries out his name.

Uncle Han climbs over her, between her quivering thighs. He makes a reach for the condoms on the nightstand but groans and pushes inside her without one. She’s wet now, and it doesn’t hurt. Rey swallows and grabs onto his hips.

“I’m going to spank you when I’m done fucking you,” he whispers in her ear. “Little slut. I told you to be quiet, didn’t I? Isn’t that what good girls do?”

She nods, breathless. Uncle Han kisses her and pounds into her, wet slaps every time they meet, and Rey struggles to push him closer. Oh… oh god it feels good. He’s rubbing against her just the right way and her body is nice and full.

He laughs a little. He’s naked, warm skin on hers, she she can trace the scars down his back.

“Close again?” he teases. He kisses her a couple times and shivers. “I am, too. I’m going to come on your pretty belly.”

“Am I good? Is this good?”

Uncle Han looks in her eyes, soft brown to hazel, and Rey thinks he’s kind of cute. He smiles while he’s fucking her and watches her eyes rolling back. She squirms and pants and he rests his forehead on hers. She going to come again and she needs to be quiet.

“That’s it…” Han grabs her hip and kisses the corner of her mouth. “Stay nice and quiet, baby. We don’t want anyone to know you’re a slut.”

It’s hard. Rey bites her lower lip as she comes undone again, bucking against Uncle Han until the bed squeaks. He covers her mouth and pounds into her, breath on her neck. Her toes curl and her legs shift limply around his thrusting hips.

Then he comes inside her, even though he keeps saying he won’t. His penis twitches and throbs and he always makes a weird choking noise when he does.

They both catch their breath. He kisses her cheek and her nose and Rey giggles, so he growls and kisses down her jaw to her neck. His hips shuffle and he gently presses his softening penis deeper inside her. She wishes they could fall asleep like this.

“Getting shitfaced and fucking you was the best thing I’ve ever done.” Uncle Han sighs and rests his head on her shoulder. “Wish I could get hard again like when I was seventeen. I wanna fuck you again.”

Rey touches his hair. It’s thick and wiry.

He slips to her side and falls asleep. She keeps combing her fingers through his hair while his come trickles from her body, pooling on the sheets.

It feels good—sex. She was scared before but now it feels good, and Uncle Han tells her when she’s being a good girl. She’ll be all better by Monday.

He wakes up in the middle of the night and fingers her again, drowsy, then he rolls her over on her stomach when she comes. Rey turns her head so she can breathe as Uncle Han pulls her thigh up and back over his hip. He leans forward, half pinning her underneath him, and she moans as he gently penetrates her.

He slaps her butt, nose in her hair. “My slutty little niece likes that, huh? You like when Uncle Han fucks you like this?” His hands cup and squeeze her breasts and he groans, thrusts lengthening. “I love you so much, you little brat. You’re so good for me.”

“I am?” Rey whispers.

“Fuck yes. _Fuck _yes. You put on that little bathing suit again and I’ll lose my _shit_.” His thumb circles her nipple, voice low. “Maybe put on one of those dresses. You got that pink one?

“It’s… it’s over by the trash.”

Uncle Han gets right up. Rey turns and watches him pick it up off the floor, and sees he’s hard and all shiny from her body. She bites her lower lip, scooching up and sitting on the edge of the bed.

He helps her pull it over her head. It gets stuck and she squeals but he laughs and tugs her arm through the sleeve. When it settles and she’s brushing her hair out of her face, he gently grasps her jaw and pulls forward. Rey frowns and then he’s _prodding_, like the guy in the movie they watched.

Her lips part. Uncle Han pushes in with a sharp breath and whispers ‘teeth’ when hers catch his skin. She mumbles an apology and rolls her lips over them, and he holds the back of her head. He huffs. It tastes weird but she isn’t about to say no.

The tip brushes the back of Rey’s throat and she gags. He fists her hair.

“Swallow,” he whispers. “Swallow, honey.”

She whimpers and tries, and the tip pushes further down her throat. Uncle Han moves faster and his pubic hair brushes her nose each time he fucks into her mouth. He rubs across her tongue and soon his hips get all twitchy and frantic, and she knows he’s going to come in her mouth.

Rey scratches at his thighs. That’s scary—she doesn’t want him to do that.

But this time he does pull out. He quickly strokes his penis and curses, thick white cum squirting from the tip right on the chest of her dress.

Then he tugs her head up with her hair and she squeals as he squirts some cum on her face. He breathes a laugh when she grimaces and tries not to open her mouth. It’s all in her hair and on her eyes and dripping down the front of her dress. 

Uncle Han pulls off a pillowcase and wipes her face clean. He leans over to kiss her when he’s done and Rey eagerly arches into it.

He straightens, rubbing his mouth. “I’ve got to go out tomorrow and get that pill. You want to come? We can get lunch at that shitty pizza place you like.”

“It’s not shitty! And don’t fucking swear, Uncle Han!”

The cheeky smirk spreads across his lips. Rey scowls and storms off to her bathroom to shower.

• • •

They visit the same CVS where Aunt Leia fills her heart medication. Rey hangs by Uncle Han’s hip, worried that everyone can tell he just fucked her in the passenger seat of his 4Runner. She fixes her hair for the hundredth time but he yawns and scratches his, not at all concerned.

He leads her back to the pharmacy. Rey hovers bear the tampons and pads, and she sees a section with sex stuff. She frowns and looks around before creeping over to check it out.

There’s a lot of things: lube, lube that’s ‘spermicidal,’ condoms galore, and some vibrating stuff. She cocks her head as Uncle Han comes over to stand beside her, holding a clear bag in his hand.

He nudges her with his elbow. “Y’know, don’t let boys fuck you without a condom. You’ll get some disease. Get pregnant.”

“_You _did.”

He rolls his eyes and gives a quick glance around. Rey picks up a vibrating ring and wonders where it goes.

“Yeah, well…” Han plucks the thing from her hand and grabs a bottle of lube. “You know me. Go wait in the car while I buy this shit.”

She snatches the bag and goes.

Uncle Han gets in the driver’s side a couple minutes later. He throws another bag on the floor and sets two cans of green tea in the cup holders. Rey scowls as he lights a cigarette and rolls down the window.

“You shouldn’t smoke,” she sniffs.

“Yeah? Lots of shit I shouldn’t do, kid.” He pulls on his seatbelt and starts the engine, shaking his head. “Banging my niece is probably top three.”

“But… but you like me, right?”

He eyes her and laughs, shifting into reverse. She’s worried he doesn’t like her.

Uncle Han looks through the back. “Yeah, I like you, honey. I wouldn’t be plowing you bareback if I didn’t.” His eyebrows furrow. “Been a while since I did that.”

“Oh. Okay. Okay.”

“Don’t worry. We won’t tell anybody, and I haven’t had sex with Leia in… I don’t know, six months?” He shrugs and changes gears, exhaling smoke out the window. “Definitely don’t need to if I’ve got my slutty little niece to take the edge off.”

Rey blushes furiously. Uncle Han reaches over to squeeze her thigh before he slips back to shifting the car. Fine. So what if she’s a slut?

He brings her to the pizza shop and opens the pill box in the car. It’s just one white pill and he tucks it in his breast pocket while Rey picks through the second bag. There’s a lot: the ring, lube, different condoms, and a vibrator that’s long and purple.

She takes it out. Han swears and wrestles it out of her hands, throwing it back on the floor.

“Are you fucking nuts?!” he snaps. He throws his cigarette out the window, scowling. “You’re going to get me thrown in fucking prison! This is a fucking felony, y’know—I’m taking a big risk.”

“You don’t have to be mean!” she retorts, eyes welling up with tears. She crosses her arms and glares at the floor. “I want to go home.”

“Jesus Christ, Rey. Come on. I can’t be fucking advertising that we’re having sex. I’ll go to _prison_ if someone finds out. Prison. Do you want me to go to prison?”

She bites her lower lip and shakes her head. No.

Uncle Han pats her thigh, sighing. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.” He gives it a squeeze. “Let’s go eat, honey. You get crabby when you’re hungry.”

Food is the one thing Rey can’t say no to. She sniffles and gets out and walks alongside Uncle Han to the door. She woke up in the morning to him already inside her, and he covered her mouth when she mumbled in confusion. She still had an orgasm and figures that means it was okay.

They sit in the corner and order a large. Uncle Han hands her the pill and she downs it with soda.

“Gotta wrap it now,” he mutters. He leans back, running a hand through his hair. “Luke is gonna fucking kill me if you get pregnant. You take birth control? I’ll find some and get you on it.”

“Dad doesn’t want me to.”

“Yeah, well—” Han looks over his shoulder and back to Rey, smirking. “Bet daddy doesn’t want me railing his kid but here we are.”

She drinks her soda, reddening. It’s so weird when he talks about sex that way; kind of vulgar. Isn’t it supposed to be gentle and nice?

They eat and go back to the empty house by mid afternoon. Rey lays on the couch to watch TV and Uncle Han goes out to the garage to finish the timing belt. He’s doing his thing so she can take a nap and a break from him constantly bending her over stuff and _plowing _her. Gross.

She dozes off.

“Rey. Rey.”

Blinking, she looks up and sees Aunt Leia standing over her, frowning. Rey’s heart skips a beat.

“Hi—Hi!” she scrambles uptight. Thankfully she’s dressed and doesn’t look like she’s been having sex. “You’re home!”

“My flight came back early. Your dad is waiting out in his car if you want to go home tonight.”

She swallows and shakes her head. No, she wants to see Uncle Han again. Aunt Leia smiles and brushes Rey’s hair back from her face.

“Okay, honey. Go on upstairs for bed. It’s late—even Han is already passed out.”

Aunt Leia walks out the front door to tell dad. Rey stares for a second before rushing up to her bedroom, heart pounding. Oh no. What if they find out? What if they know she’s a slut?

Her bare feet patter down the hall to her bedroom. She touches the door, then she’s shoved against it.

He’s already tugging down her shorts. Rey squirms and moans as he roughly jerks forward, grabbing her hips and fucking her fast. His minty breath is warm on her ear, and he groans and pounds into her.

“This,” he whispers, “is a quickie. Since I won’t be able to fuck you again this weekend.” The door opens downstairs and Rey whimpers. “Shit—shit, I’m gonna come. Stay nice and quiet like a good girl.”

Uncle Han stiffens and pumps his hips and Rey bites inside her cheek to stay quiet. He heaves a hard breath and twitches inside her, then she feels him trailing down her thighs again, dripping in her panties. He kisses her temple.

“Hide the stuff in your dresser,” he whispers. The stairs creak. “We’ll use it when you visit again. We’ll use _all _of it.”

Then he slips away. He opens her bedroom door and Rey spills inside, tripping and hurrying to pull up her shorts. He closes the door and says something to Aunt Leia. She must know now. She must know.

But nothing happens. Rey takes a shower and goes to sleep, and dad is waiting for her when she wakes up. She hugs her aunt and uncle goodbye and leaves.

• • •

“Han? Rey? I’m going out!”

They’re in the back of the Mustang, now lowered to the concrete, and Rey is bouncing in his lap. Uncle Han holds her hips while she crouches over him and squirms and rubs. She likes this. It’s hard to fit but it feels so good.

Han clears his throat. “Okay, see you later, babe. Love you.” He kisses Rey’s cheek and smiles against her skin. “Love _you_, baby.”

The windows steam up. Rey keeps quiet as she comes, toes curling, and Aunt Leia’s Mercedes pulls out of the driveway. She’s really good at staying quiet now, which is great, because Uncle Han likes having sex in conspicuous places.

He slaps her ass. “That’s my good girl. Nice fucking a normal woman again.” He kisses her neck, bouncing his hips up into her. “None of that weird… demi-human shit.”

It never crosses Rey’s mind. Yeah, Aunt Leia is an Alpha and dad is an Omega, but she’s normal, and doesn’t pay that stuff much attention. Uncle Han is normal, too—and it’s normal for the demi-humans to soft bond, so maybe this is her soft bonding.

He swears when he comes like he always does. Rey is taking birth control now and hates condoms as much as he does, so she gets to feel him filling her up every time they have sex. Sometimes the cum is still sticky on her thighs when Aunt Leia calls her for dinner.

Uncle Han groans. “Fuuuuck. Fuck me.” His throat bobs and he laughs, broad chest tightening under her palms. He looks like she does: sleepy, satiated. “You’re so good. You really like this, huh?”

“Yeah—Yeah.” Rey nods and winces when she hits the roof of the car. “Hang on. I’m kind of nauseous.”

He slaps her ass again as she crawls out of the car. “How am I supposed to take that, you little shit?”

Rey rolls her eyes and smiles at his laughing. She adjusts her panties under her skirt—easier for when he pins her against the wall or something—and she shuffles to the house.

It’s been a couple months since they first had sex. She’s a little addicted to it now and hangs around drinking and eating with Uncle Han, so her belly is growing. Dad says she should exercise.

Rey kneels at the toilet and casually throws up. She’s been throwing up for a couple months and her doctor says nothing is wrong. Even the pregnancy test was negative, and dad asked for it.

She wipes her mouth and brushes her teeth. Uncle Han is waiting for her when she leaves the bathroom and he sweeps her up in a bear hug, then carries her out to the deck and jumps in the pool. Rey shrieks and kicks the whole time, but she surfaces with his arms around her and they’re kissing.

He sweeps her to the edge and reaches a hand down the front of her panties. He can’t have sex more than once or twice a day but Rey can still come. A lot.

“Want to go play?” he whispers. It’s code for using the vibrator and stuff. He rubs her the way she likes and Rey huffs. “Been two weeks since I last saw you, and I know how much you like playing.”

“O-okay.” She keeps moving against his hand, breathless. “But… can you keep…”

Uncle Han’s chest rumbles. He keeps going like she wants him to, and Rey gasps his name, sunlight burning down on her arms over the edge of the pool. He covers her mouth and stretches his fingers deeper into her panties.

“My needy little whore. Doing this right out in the open.” He fingers her and Rey chokes. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”

She shakes her head as she comes, humping his hand. No, she can’t help herself. She’s a whore.

• • •

Rey’s belly grows.

She takes to wearing baggier clothes, just because Uncle Han says she’ll attract attention in tight stuff. Dad notices but doesn’t mind. It keeps the _boys _away, but over the weekends Uncle Han takes it all off.

The nausea goes away. It seems like she’s just gaining weight from eating more and sitting around with Han. He likes her stomach and presses his big fingers into it whenever she’s on top or in his lap. He still likes her and fucks her even though she’s gaining weight.

One afternoon, after school is started again, Rey feels something twitch in her lower belly.

She frowns and touches it. She’s in algebra but her mind is wandering to what fun stuff she’ll do with Uncle Han this weekend. The twitching distracts her—then is happens again, stronger this time.

Rey raises her hand. “Um, Mister Reynolds? May I be excused?”

He shrugs and gives her the hall pass.

She wanders down to the bathroom and feels the weird jump again. It makes her stomach turn with anxiety and she rushes into the single bathroom, locking the door behind her.

There’s another tingle. It gets stronger—it hurts, and Rey blinks rapidly. Is she sick? Did she drink too much with Uncle Han over the weekend?

Another hard cramp makes her double over in pain, gasping. She sags against the wall and a couple seconds pass before it happens again, sharp and seriously painful. Rey gets cold and sweaty all over and sinks down to the floor.

Her pants get wet. She paws at them and sees dark red blood pooling on the green tile.

“Oh no.” She shakes her head and cries. “Oh no.”

The next cramp is strong enough to make her cry out in pain, but she bites her lip and shuts up like Han always tells her to. She squeezes her eyes shut and keeps shaking her head, trembling, because she knows what’s happening and can’t call for help.

They’ll _know. _They’ll know she’s a slut.

Rey tugs down her sweatpants with shaky arms and leans back and screams into her elbow when another contraction strikes. It makes her dizzy and sick and just keeps coming, one after another, blood pouring on the floor like she’s been stabbed.

Lightheaded, Rey hardly notices when something warm slides from her body. It’s mixed in with the blood and placenta that follows and she’s frozen in shock. She’s going to _die _here.

Someone knocks on the door. “Miss Skywalker? Are you feeling okay?”

Her gaze flickers down between her thighs. Something small is there, curled up in a ball, maybe big enough to fit in her two hands. She stares.

It’s a _baby. _It’s a real baby. She just gave birth to a baby and it’s lying right there.

Revulsion comes first; outright terror that she just gave birth to a baby and it’s lying on the bathroom floor. Then fear turns into hysteria: she should flush it down the toilet. She should kill it before anyone knows. She’s supposed to go work for NASCAR.

It’s not even breathing. Rey cries and covers her mouth with the back of her wrist. It’s a boy.

Then it squirms, eyes tightening, and takes a screaming lungful of air.

He cries and Rey hurriedly scoops him up, whispering and trying to make him be quiet. She remembers at the last second to support his tiny head. He keeps crying but settles when his belly is flat on her chest, and his cries lilt into whimpers.

Keys twist in the lock. Rey shudders and cries because the baby is way too small and she let him lay on the floor and thought about _killing _him. She’s been drinking for months—she’s been taking birth control. Holy shit—she has a baby—she has a real baby.

The door opens a crack then all the way. “Holy—holy fucking shit!” Mr. Reynolds takes a sharp step back. “Someone… can someone call nine one one?! Like right now?!”

Her eyes blindly roam the bathroom. Mr. Reynolds crouches next to her and brushes her sweaty hair back from her face, staring at the pool of blood and the baby whining on her chest. She swallows and her hand slips, so he gently takes the baby, and hands him to another teacher.

“Careful,” Rey mumbles. Her eyes flutter shut. “He’s really loud.”

• • •

It’s nice and warm when she wakes up.

Her eyes roll open. Sunlight comes through the window, spilling across the beige sheets, and there’s a sitcom playing on the TV hanging off the way. Rey yawns and settles in to the soft bed. She’s super drowsy and loopy.

The door opens.

Dad peers inside. His face and eyes are red and he tries to smile but can’t. He comes to her bedside and Rey just smiles and laughs.

“What?” she croaks. “What’d I do this time?”

Dad rubs his mouth. “Are you okay? Are you in any pain?”

He’s being so serious. Rey shrugs and shakes her head. She feels great.

He nods. He leans over the bed rail and takes her hand, fitted with an IV and hooked up somewhere behind the bed. She’s in a hospital.

Dad’s lower lip trembles. He squeezes her hand and Rey frowns more. She’s in a hospital? Why is she in a hospital?

“I’m so sorry,” he rasps. He kisses her hand and presses his forehead to it, crying now. “Han told us—I’m so sorry, honey. I should’ve known. I should’ve been paying closer attention—”

Her heart sinks. _Han_.

The memory of blood and a screaming baby comes flooding back to her. Rey shakes her head quickly and paws down the sheet to see her belly is flat like it used to be, but purple stretch marks and some loose skin are left behind.

“I didn’t do it!” she sobs, still shaking her head. She grabs dad’s hand and cries harder. “I’m sorry! It’s—I didn’t do it!”

“It’s okay… it’s okay.” Dad cups her cheek and looks her in the eyes, and she’s relieved he’s not mad. “I’m not mad at you at all. You haven’t done anything wrong, Rey. Nothing.”

Still, she wails, humiliated that he knows she’s a slut, and Aunt Leia probably knows, too.

“I’m not a slut!” she blubbers, hysterical. She writhes in the bed and her belly gives a sharp cramp. “I’m not! I’m _NOT_!”

Someone comes in and fools with the stuff behind her bed. Rey gets sleepier and stops sobbing, just lying there whimpering and trying to keep her eyes open. She’s not a slut. She can’t be.

Dad sits there and touches her hair. “I love you so much. I’m going to make this better.”

• • •

The next time Rey wakes up, there are three people standing around her room: dad, a nurse, and Uncle Han.

She panics for a second but dad soothes her, brushing her forehead with his cool fingers. Uncle Han looks away at the window and clenches his jaw. His eyes are red like dad’s.

“It’s okay, honey,” dad whispers. “We just want you to meet the baby. It’s important that you do.”

The nurse comes a little closer. She’s wearing pink scrubs and smiles. Rey stares. Baby?

“He’s doing great,” she offers, crouching next to dad. “Only two months premature and he’s a tough little guy. Full head of hair, too.”

Her head spins. “I don’t have a baby.”

Dad tries to smile. “You don’t have to take care of him, Rey. Uncle Han and Aunt Leia will. But because he’s so small—it’s good for him to touch you.”

Rey’s eyes are wide and terrified. The nurse rolls over a cart with a plastic lid and she sees the baby lying inside on his belly, all hooked up to colorful wires and tubes. One of his dark eyes cracks open.

She shakes her head. “I don’t want him. He’s… he’s supposed to be dead.” If he touches her she’ll claw him off. “You should’ve flushed him down the toilet—he’s… he’s not mine. I don’t want him.”

“I know you’re upset,” dad says. “I know.”

“Christ, Luke!” Han snaps, voice shaking. “She’s fucking terrified! Let her sleep and give me the damn kid if it needs to be hugged or what the fuck ever.”

The nurse rolls the baby back. “It’s too soon. He’s withdrawing from the alcohol, anyway—she can have a couple more days before we try again.”

Luke stands up and looks like he’s about to deck Uncle Han. The nurse stops him and snaps at them to get out if they can’t behave like adults.

Rey glances at the baby. He’s watching her.

She leans over to pull the cart closer while the three of them argue. He’s tiny. His eyes are dark even though she thinks they should be blue, and he has a smattering of black hair on his head.

Rey ignores the gloves she should be using and pushes off the lid. She reaches in and lifts him out, cradling his head, marveling at how little he is. He whines and squirms so she settles him on her bare chest, and covers him with the blanket.

It’s nice. Then she’s revolted again, terrified, and she almost throws him off her.

But she doesn’t.

The nurse is dragging dad out and hushing him when he tries coming back. Rey draws her thumb near the baby’s mouth and he follows, lips smacking. Eee. She learned in health that it’s a reflex.

“I’m sorry.”

She glances up and sees Uncle Han watching her. He sniffles and wipes his wrist across his nose.

“You can move in with me. We’ll take care of him.” His cheek sucks in and he shrugs. “Leia wants a divorce anyway.”

Rey looks back down at the baby. He’s asleep, but he seems cold, and she reaches over for the blanket in his weird bucket house. Incubator.

Han helps and hands it to her. He stands there with his hands in his pockets and looks over his shoulder.

“You can go to school and shit,” he adds. “I won’t… do anything again. I can take care of him better if you both live with me, though. Unless you wanna stay with your dad, but he’s fucking nuts.”

She ignores him. Uncle Han taps the cart and leaves without another word.

Dad is all over him in the hall. “She’s not fucking living with you, Han. You’ve already done enough. We have to keep her here under a goddamn camera to make sure she doesn’t _kill her baby_.”

“He’s my kid, too,” Han snaps. The door is shutting. “What’s the fucking difference if she lives with me? I already got her pregnant.”

“You’ll get her pregnant _again_!”

“I’m not going to touch her—I’m getting my shit snipped anyway—”

The door closes with a soft click. Rey is left alone with the baby and he’s growing on her a little bit. She doesn’t want to flush him down the toilet anymore.

She touches his soft hair. “You’re not so bad. Quiet now, huh?” Her throat constricts. Guilt presses down. “I’m sorry I left you laying there. I won’t leave you alone again. I promise. I really won’t.”

He whimpers. She carefully shifts around, one hand on his back, and awkwardly adjusts so his mouth is near her nipple. This is what she’s supposed to do, right? Aren’t they always hungry?

The baby raises his voice into an irritated cry. Rey panics and brushes his lips with her nipple, frightened that she’s doing something wrong and he’s starving to death. He hiccups and twists, and she keeps gently brushing the seam of his lips.

His mouth pops open and he suddenly latches on.

She laughs, breathless. Okay, she can do this. He’s even eating. She’s _feeding _him. Why did she ever want to flush him down the toilet?

Rey tucks the blankets around them and settles in to watch, emotion veering wildly between terror and bliss. She can do this. No she can’t. She should get rid of him. She should never let him go. How was he in her body for so long without her knowing?

She’s exhausted, but she knows she needs to stay awake. Her eyes flutter and she guides him back when he slips off. She’s supposed to do something else—burp him or something. This is all she can do right now.

The nurse comes in and takes him as Rey is drifting off. He bursts into tears and she weakly reaches for him but the nurse tells her to sleep. She’s not supposed to leave him alone and she’s afraid he’ll remember and hate her for it.

A name comes to her before she passes out: Ben, one of dad’s old friends. He was nice and funny and never touched her in a weird way.

“That’s a good name,” she mumbles.

She falls asleep, hugging her arm around the spot where Ben was just laying.

• • •

“Rey, you have to let him go!”

Han is a fucking asshole.

Ben’s screaming from the nursery so loud that she can hear it from down the hall. He screams a lot but stops when she picks him up and she doesn’t mind going to hold him. She said she’d never leave him alone and she’d keep him in her room if she could.

Rey ducks out of their bedroom and hurries to the nursery, but Han grabs her around and waist.

“Let _GO OF ME_!” she shrieks. She kicks and screams and he grunts. “Let me _GO_!”

“He’s going to have fucking mommy issues if you don’t let him just cry it out every once in a while! He’s got you on a fucking leash!”

Han isn’t fun or nice anymore; he’s just a fucking jerk. He avoids Ben and gets mad when he cries and interrupts them having sex. He’s supposed to be in therapy with Rey but spends all his time with Leia.

She scratches until Han lets go with an angry curse, then he grabs her again and she slaps him. He clenches his jaw and kisses her hard, biting her lower lip, and Rey hisses and kisses him back.

Ben sobs louder. “Mama?! Mama?!”

Han shoves her against the wall, already pulling at her shorts, but Rey slaps him across the face again.

She shoves him back, glowering. He’s pissed and flexing his hands but she doesn’t care. It’s been almost two years since she gave birth to Ben on the bathroom floor, and she’s not letting Han treat her like that anymore.

Rey points a shaking finger at him. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Han swallows and keeps glaring as she slips into the nursery to check on her screaming son.

Ben is up on his two feet and trying to climb out of the crib. Rey groans and hurries over before he falls and smacks his head again. He’s a tough baby. It’s like his bones are made of steel.

“Mama,” he whimpers. He reaches for her and keeps whining. “Mama.”

“I’m here,” she coos. She lifts him out and settles him on her hip. “Mama’s here.”

He sniffles and buries his face in her neck. Rey sits in the rocking chair from dad, adjusting Ben in the crook of her arm. He’s also a fucking _pig_. He eats like there’s no tomorrow and Rey is usually home to feed him whenever he wants.

But it’s getting word. Ben has more muscle control and he holds onto her boob when he eats, eyes hooded, mumbling and smacking his lips. She’s trying to get him onto more solid food but sometimes he won’t eat until he gets the boob.

Rey pats his back. She’s _trying _to put more space between them: things are going well with NASCAR and she wants to take Ben to Talladega. Han is being Han about it and keeps arguing with her about custody, trying to force her to stay. He’s just a horny old fuck who likes banging his niece.

She only needs Ben. She promised she wouldn’t leave him and she won’t. Ever.

“Mama.”

She glances down. He’s smiling, pushing on her boob so he can crawl up and hug her. Rey nuzzles his neck as he wraps his arms around her neck, kind of choking her, but she doesn’t want to tell him no.

Ben sighs. “Mama.”

“Mhm. Gave birth to you on a bathroom floor, so I think that’s me.”

Now he’s big enough that she doesn’t have to worry about a nap in the rocking chair. Rey yawns and rests her chin on the top of his head. He should probably know more words by now but he just calls her name and screams it and mumbles it when he’s asleep.

He curls into a ball on her chest, thumb in his mouth. Sometimes he just passes out on her boob—it’s kind of hilarious. He’s _always _got something in his mouth.

“Love you, baby,” Rey yawns.

Ben paws around for her boob and grabs, holding on firm, like it’s an anchor.

“Love you,” he chirps around his thumb. He hums. “Love you too, mama.”


End file.
